Self-love

I have a goal in my head,
Self-love is one of it,
But everytime I look into the mirror,
Self-hate came out first.

I hate myself for having anxiety,
I hate myself for having depression,
But I was being told that everyone have that problem to,
It just up to them how they handle it.

I wish I could stand up and look into the mirror,
Saying " I love you and its okay to be you",
But I look into myself even without the mirror,
I said " You are not worth it . You just a loser"

I wonder how someone that have self-love,
Is it happy? Is it fine there?
I wonder how my life would be if I have self-love,
I think it would be fantastic.

But I couldn't get it,
Because I'm not worth it,
I keep breaking the promises I made,
I keep annoyed the one that I love.

Whenever I'm with him,
I tell my story to him,
I wish you would tell me that its okay to be that,
But my wish is just wishes.

I tremble when I cried,
I'm afraid of facing the reality,
How am I supposed to get self-love,
When you can't even face the world .